This is not my ceiling
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
