Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
