This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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