Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
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the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
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I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos