I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?