Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS