Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
