from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
