I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
