I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
