Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
