im having a threesome with these popsicles
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
