I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
