Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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