and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize