I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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