so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
