Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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