these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.