He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.