ADVERTISEMENT

• (755): View more from

  How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?

  Fav 5 840 1496

  share tweet
  

• (703): View more from Virginia

  help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.

  Fav 11 905 1797

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (407): View more from Florida

  i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.

  Fav 18 978 1805

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.

  Fav 18 1258 4383

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (707): View more from California

  I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever

  Fav 51 6807 1018

  share tweet
  

• (304): View more from West Virginia

  My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.

  Fav 14 3896 2232

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (805): View more from California

  I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.

  Fav 10 2131 927

  share tweet
  

• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!

  Fav 18 1851 2548

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?

  Fav 6 1306 1940

  share tweet
  
• 

  These 21 People Are Related To Famous Celebrities

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.

  Fav 3 1428 695

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success

  Fav 3 925 491

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (317): View more from Indiana

  Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity

  Fav 0 579 467

  share tweet
  

• (203): View more from Connecticut

  She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.

  Fav 5 1399 548

  share tweet
  

• (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright

  Fav 1 565 309

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.

  Fav 1 343 296

  share tweet
  

Randomize