I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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