My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
