i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
40s are totally the cure
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
