I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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