we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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