I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
