I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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