end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
