I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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