I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Randomize