he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
