I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
