Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize