The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
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