The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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