Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
