i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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