similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize