are you still at the devil's house?
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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