Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
