what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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