Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
