Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize