Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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