It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
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Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
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If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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