omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
