Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
