My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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