Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
