Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Randomize
