Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
