I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
