i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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