I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
