I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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