I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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