oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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