My sheets look like a crime scene.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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