she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize