I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
