guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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