I can text with my tongue
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
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Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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