I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
