just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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