I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
