so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
