omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
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There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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