Swine flu. Run for my life!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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